Reflections on Wandering Hearts

Yesterday our pastor did a sermon on Titus 1 and the necessity of godly leadership. It made me realize that once we begin our ministry in Germany, Kathi and I will be leaders in this young church. I'm beginning to feel a new weight about being a missionary because of these verses. In particular, the phrase "husband of but one wife" (v. 6) struck me.

I've always been perplexed by this qualification that Paul gives for being an elder. He's probably not referring to polygamy because there is no evidence to show that plural marriages were an issue in the early church. Some think that Paul is excluding people who have remarried, but I'm not so sure of that either. So, why would Paul include this seemingly obvious qualification?

Now I'm not sure if this is exegetically sound, so please forgive me. But, I think Paul is referring not to our legal marriage status but the state of a husband's heart towards his wife. A husband can remain legally married and physically faithful to his wife but have a heart that has wandered far from her. It seems that anything can draw a husband's heart away: his fantasies, his hobbies, his job, or his friends. These things can capture a husband's heart and make him even despise his wife. The man who spends all of his free time with his model train hobby or with video games isn't a "husband of but one wife."

I'm convicted of this because I'm so guilty of letting my heart wander at times. But, part of my vow as a husband to Kathi is to cherish her for the rest of my life. I never really understood how lofty of a promise that really is. I've been asking God recently to make my heart even more at home with Kathi alone. We husbands must be on guard that our hearts not wander from our wives for the sake of our families and for the church.