Reflections on Granny's Passing

I got a call late last night from my dad letting us know that Granny had passed away. After the initial shock of it all, numbness has set in. It's probably going to take a few days to internalize it. They're going to have a memorial service for her sometime next week, so we'll probably head down to Dayton in the next few days. Please pray for all of my family.

Reflections on Granny Status

I found out from my dad yesterday that my grandmother has taken a turn for the worse. She's now staying at my dad's house with 24 hour nursing care. The hospice nurse who is attending her said that once a person reaches this point they usually pass within a week. Kathi and I debated whether we should rush home, but we realized that she's pretty much out of it at this point. Please pray for my grandmother, but also pray for my family as well.

Reflections on Job News

We got the good news from Lambs Farm yesterday that Kathi won't have to work such long hours anymore. The people for whom she was covering have finally returned. I can't tell you how relieved both of us our about this. Now it frees up some more time to do support raising. The only down side was that Kathi was making some nice cash working overtime. Now it's going to be up to me to get a part-time job to make up the difference. This is officially Post #110 - a big "HI-O!" for all you OU people out there.

Reflections on Real Ministry

Yesterday we had dinner with my old roommate, Dave Westergaard (he's the one on the left). He one of those men that I deeply admire for his simply lifestyle, love for Jesus, and abounding prayer life. We talked a great deal about ministry and ways we have been dissatisfied with how the church has gone about ministry. Dave and I have always resonated with each on this topic, but he shared some stuff that really solidified some of my thoughts.

Dave told me about a missions organization that he discovered that seemed to have nailed powerful and abundant ministry. It's called InnerChange and it is primarily a incarnational ministry to the poor. On their website they describe their values as an interplay of three dynamics: the Missionary, the Prophetic, and the Contemplative. Click here if you want to check it out for yourself.

As missionaries they are called to proclaim the Kingdom of God to the poor. As prophets they are called to be the Gospel incarnation by making their own lifestyle resonate with their message. As contemplatives they recognize that any such ministry apart from deep intimacy with Jesus breeds frustration, bitterness, and failure. These three veins optomize exactly what's been brewing in my heart for several years, and it's exactly what I pray our ministry will resemble in Germany.

I shared with Dave though, that one of my great fears is that I'll never see these things grow out practically in my life. It's all well and good that I've come to some of these conclusions in my heart and mind, but will I ever see them in my life? By God's mercy.

Reflections on Born Again Baldwin

I finally finished The Idiot today after months of it sitting on a self. Busyness has made reading a bit difficult, and this book isn't exactly a light read. Anyway, it was a good book, but a little bit harder to read then some of Dostoevsky's other stuff. The fact that it's far more character driven then plot drive also makes it hard. But, it's theme of Christian love and goodness being view as foolishness and idiocy by the world makes it very relative to today.

In other news, Kathi and I were watching CNN last night, and they were interviewing Stephen Baldwin. He was relating how some time ago him and his wife came to faith in Jesus! This is the same guy who did BioDome with Pauly Shore! The Lord works in mysterious ways. With that said, it was amazing to hear him talk about his faith in some pretty bold and fearless ways. It was actually quite convicting.

Reflections on New World Order, Part Three

Three years ago when the United States invaded Iraq, there was much discussion within the church about war and what consitutes a just war. Sadly this discussion has dissipated with the peace-loving hippies and the war mongers each taking their sides along the political divide. Now, I don't have much to contribute to the discussion on just war. I'm honestly not sure how Scripture calls the church to view war. But, I do know that there is a war being waged in the spiritual realm that is infinitely more important than Iraq.

Since 9/11 I have fallen into the trap of believing that my security rests in the ability of our federal government to wage war against the terrorists who are trying to kill us. The hope of the free world depends on guns, spies, and wire-tapping. But, as I look through Scripture, I see that the world will not be won to good by such things. God frequently rebukes Israel for their reliance on the weapons of this world. "Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses, who trust in the multitude of their chariots and in the great strength of their horsemen, but do not look to the Holy One of Israel, or seek help from the LORD." (Isaiah 31:1).

In fact, Paul writes to the church in Corinth that we are wagging a war that is not being fought in the same way the world fights wars. "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world." (2 Cor. 10:3-4). There is a battle going on right now of good against evil, and the rise of Islamic terrorism is certainly related to it. But, the weapons we are supposed to carry in this battle against evil are not bombs or guns.

I suggest that the weapons we are to gird in this fight are meekness, love, and the truth of the Gospel of Christ. Jesus himself sets out the example of how we are to fight by his life in the body and death on the cross. Jesus declared that he had a thousand legions of angels at his disposal but knew that force would not win people's heart to him. The hard truth is that we are to love our enemies and seek their good. "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you." (Proverbs 25:21-22).

Now, I'm not sure how this translate into foreign policy. But, I do know that it is a call to the church to get involved in the current conflict not by taking up arms but by serving and loving those who hate us. I'm not trying to persuade people to be against the war in Iraq or to denounce the federal government for their efforts against terrorism. I'm speaking more toward the church and the individual Christian. Are we trusting in guns and bombs to bring goodness and righteousness to the Middle East? Do we believe that better intelligence and a strong military will bring salvation? Instead, let us follow the radical course of incarnational love for those who hate us. Only such love and service will win the world to the Gospel.

Reflections on New World Order, Part Two

I guess I should explain that I'm not really concerned with this series about policy. I'm not supporting or criticizing the war on terrorism or the policies of our government. What I am trying to do is expresses some challenges to certain attitudes that I have been struggling with lately. I really don't think many Christians have tried to think biblically about what's going on in the world right now. In fact, I think Evangelicals tend to tow the Republican party line about terrorism and the current conflict.

One such attitude I think that I have frequently fallen into is the desire for safety and security. One thing that 9/11 did was it shattered the gentle facade of security that we had built up in our society. Up until that time war, conflict, and death were for most people something that happened thousands of miles away in backward countries. Now chaos and war were brought to our very doorstep.

First and foremost, the efforts by our government to combat terroism are designed to protect us and attempt to restore the sense of security. Immediately following the attacks, the cry was to go about our daily lives. I can say personally that I too yearn for a return to the safety of pre-9/11 America. But, this desire for comfort and safety at all costs aren't necessarily biblical.

God never promised his people peaceful and safe lives while on earth. In fact, Scripture seems to promise that we will suffer in this world, but that this suffering produces perseverence and hope. What we find that in times of chaos and conflict is that the church grows and expands in miraculous ways. I can't substantiate this now, but I hear that with all its turmoil, Iraq has seen an explosion in the church in the past three years.

The eternal reality is that conflict, war, and chaos will all come to this earth before the end comes. These evil events provide the church with the opportunity to be peacemakers, to love people, and to spread the Gospel of salvation. My question is will the church in America rise to the challenge of the events surrounding us and be a light in a world that so desperately needs it? Will we put away our sabre rattling and accept the hardship that as fallen on this country as opportunity for spiritual fruit?

Reflections on New World Order, Part One

The fifth anniversary of 9/11 has caused me to ponder recently the war on terror and this new world order we find ourselves in. More importantly, it has made me reconsider how we should see the events that surround us from a biblical point of view. I'm becoming more and more convinced that how the majority of Christians view the war on terror is actually not honoring to Scripture. So, I think I'm going to dedicate a few posts on writing some of my thoughts. I hope that I can get some feedback along the way.

First off, I've noticed the evangelical Christians tend to be some of the most hawkish people I know. We typically view the war on terror as the prosecution of justice on evil people - in fact, President Bush colors this struggle frequently in those terms. Personally, I have to admit a subtle satisfaction that sweeps over me every time I read about another terrorist captured or killed. The reality is that evangelical Christians (and most other Americans) see this as an Us against Them conflict with the Us being on the side of righteousness and freedom and the Them being on the side of evil and tyranny.

Does this perception of reality line up with the eternal reality we find in Scripture? If we were to pull back the curtain of eternity, would we see the angels of heaven lined up behind the free world and the demons of hell behind the terrorists? I'm not entirely convinced that this is what we would find.

The reality I think we would find is not so cut and dry. The truth is that in God's eyes all of humanity has rebelled against heaven and has set itself up as a rival power. This rebellion touches every human being on earth whether they call themselves Christian or Muslim, Terrorist or American. The sobering realization that I came to was that the evil in the heart of a terrorist that compells them to fly an airplane into a bulding is the same evil that exists in the heart of every person. I share the same rebellious heart as Osama bin Laden.

How should this change the way we view terrorists? First and foremost, I hope that it would give us humility knowing that in God's sight our sin and evil place us in the same rebellion as the most evil and hardened of terrorists. Secondly, it should move us to compassion - yes, I said compassion - for people who have hardened their hearts to the point where they find it necessary to blow themselves up. The truth of the matter is that Christ died for Osama just the same as He died for me.

I temper this claim with the conviction that we as a nation still have the duty to defend ourselves and to seek justice for those who do wrong. But, justice should not be pursued from the position of self-righteousness because we know that no one is righteous, not even one. And, we also have the duty to look long and hard into our own hearts to see where we too deserve justice for the wrongs and evils we have committed. Lastly, we as a people need to seek God in repentance knowing that it is by His grace alone we are forgiven.

Reflections on Drowned Rats

I think that God may have made it difficult for us to schedule support appointments this weekend for a purpose. For the most part, Kathi and I did nothing. Friday and Satruday we spent most of the afternoon watching the second season of Lost (greatest show ever). Now that the weekend is over we realize that we desperately needed some down time to recuperate from the past couple of weeks.

It wasn't all DVDs and lounging in bed. Instead of "raises" or "bonuses" Kathi's work gives all of its employees a free day at Six Flags Great America. So, yesterday we trodded out in the rain and cold to go to an amusement park. Now, I know it doesn't sound like an ideal day, but it was actually awesome. The park was practically deserted and there were no lines for the coasters, which were still running! We rode almost every ride in the park in about 2 hours, some multiple times. It was sweet!

By the time we left the park, we were soaked to the bone. But, I tell you, there's nothing like a steaming shower and cocooning in your bed after spending a day in the rain. Great weekend!

Reflections on Prayer Magnets

Here's the prayer card that our friend Betsy made up for us. Isn't it cool? I find it so humorous how prayer magnets have become a source of pride for many Evangelicals. Look at all the missionaries I support! Any Evangelical home you walk into, you inevitably find rows of missionary magnets on their frig displaying all the people they pray for. Maybe I'm just cynical and jaded. One thing is for sure, I am a total hypocrite as evidenced by the magnets we are going to be sending out!

No news on my grandmother. As far as I know, she's still at her home recovering from the pneumonia. But, I'm sure it's only a matter of time till she's either in a nursing home or moving in with my dad. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

Reflections on Vaporous Life

Lately I've been getting more and more into my family's genealogy and history. It's been really interesting to learn about the people who make up my heritage. One thing I found was that I may be distantly related to Oliver Cromwell, who is a first cousin twelve times removed. We've been rifling through old family photographs going back decades. As we look through these pictures I wonder, who are these people?

This past weekend we took a last minute trip to my dad's place in Ohio. A few days ago, my grandmother took a turn for the worse in her battle against cancer. It's progressed beyond the point of any effective treatment, which means her time left is short. She was in the hospital this weekend because she contracted pneumonia, which was dangerous for her. Fortunately, she battled through that and is back at home for the time being.

This picture is one that I found while we were home this weekend. It's my grandmother, grandfather, dad, and aunt in 1956. I wonder what it must have been like to be them back then. I'm struck because Kathi and I are about the same age as my grandparents in this photograph. We have some of the same hopes and dreams for the future. But, all of that changes in a breath. Now my grandmother's life is nearing its end. How quickly will Kathi and I find ourselves in this stage?

People really are but a vapor. Generations go by in the blinking of an eye. Please pray for grandmother that she would be comforted in this twilight hour.

Reflections on Dayton Days

Kathi and I drove to my home near Dayton yesterday to visit my grandmother who is in the hospital. Tonight we got the chance to drop in on Brian and Karin unannounced. It was classic. I called up Brian on our way to their house and made like we were spending a quiet evening in Illinois. I kept him on the phone until we walked up to his front door. His mother let us in and I walked into his room as we talked.

As soon as he realized that I was standing right there, he proceed to throw the phone across the room at me. The picture is a reinactment of the very moment he discovered I was actually in front of him and not in Illinois. It was quite funny.

Also, please pray for my grandmother. She's been in the hospital the last few days. She's struggling with terminal cancer, and is currently fighting off pneumonia, which in her condition can be fatal. She suffering right now.